By Brandon Drew Holmes // Photo by Irwin Swirnoff
Hey, children! It’s BDH … your local club rat, too much pizza eatin’, unemployed, always runnin’ his mouth, two time college drop out, drizzlin’ his french fries in ketchup, critical theory art book readin’, Shirley Temple drankin’, lookin’ for a job, wannabe playboy fool. Um, so like, yeah. Hi … I’m suppose to be talkin’ to y’all bout what to do with your free time this weekend, but seein’ as my hind tail ain’t got no job, I’ma be handing in resumes … but this only means you all are responsible for having fun on my behalf. TURN UP FOR ME.
I’m not gonna lie though, if it’s this hot I’m not doing jack … cause like really, not all of us are cute when we sweat. My first suggestion will help you stay cute though, it can be done from the climate-controlled comfort of your house.
Do any of you know Irwin Swirnoff I’m sure you do. He works at Aquarius on Valencia so you can go and nag him about music (just don’t criticize M.I.A. I learned the hard way.) He also hosts a really awesome, eclectic radio show on KUSF in Exile, a.k.a. San Francisco Community Radio named SLEEVES ON HEARTS (9AM-NOON // MORE). On Friday’s show he’ll have Academy Award nominated documentary filmmaker Sam Green on as his guest co-host. Green has worked with Kronos Quartet, Yo La Tengo and The Quivers. The two will be playing tunes and discussing aspects of not being a pushover, while you most likely lay in your bed half naked petting your cat and drinking a Long Island Iced Tea.
Image courtesy of the Facebook gods a.k.a. one of Irwin’s friends
With the bountiful number of art school grad students in the Bay Area, odds are you are either in one of this week’s grad exhibitions or know someone showing. If you don’t or aren’t then well, whatevs, get out and celebrate their impending debt this weekend.
Do yourself a favor and skip the opening of CALIFORNIA COLLEGE OF ARTS’ MFA THESIS EXHIBITION (OPENING RECEPTION THURSDAY 6-10PM // FREE // EXHIBIT RUNS THROUGH MAY 24 // CCA SF CAMPUS // MORE) (no shade) and spend time with the individual exhibits on Sunday. The exhibition features installations and displays by 50 MFA students in the graduating class of CCA’s fine arts graduate program. It was curated by local writer, critic and faculty member Glen Helfand. I hold a soft spot for CCA in my heart, as it was the first school I bounced on, but still there are a ton of art schools in the Bay and I love to be bitchy and compare them.
And with that said, this weekend you can also visit the 44th annual UC BERKELEY MFA GRADUATE EXHIBIT (OPENING RECEPTION FRIDAY 6PM // EXHIBIT RUNS THROUGH JUNE 8 // FREE // BAM/PFA // MORE). This is a special one as it is the last MFA exhibit to take place within the museum walls (because of some ish about how the building isn’t safe anymore, but whatev.) Each year the BAM/PFA teams up with the UC Berkeley Department of Art Practice to exhibit the work of their graduates, which this year includes six individuals. This situation is completely different from CCA. It’ll offer you a more intimate viewing of the work, physically and emotionally (no shade) as well as give you an opportunity to check out the building’s phenomenal — not earthquake safe apparently 😥 — architecture and David Wilson’s curatorial effort, The Possible, before it comes down on May 25th. If I remember correctly, artist Will Rogan has a cute exhibit up in the Matrix Program area too!
Finally this weekend is the opening of SAN FRANCISCO ART INSTITUTE’S MFA EXHIBIT (OPENING RECEPTION FRIDAY 7-9PM // FREE // THE OLD MINT // MORE) entitled “Principle”. The show will transform the Old Mint, a national historic landmark, placing installations in its bank vaults, ballrooms, brick-lined hallways, courtyards and every crevice in between. Seeing as the school will only have the students’ work on display for three days (“side eye” as I suppress actual shade), this is probs the one you should check out this weekend. Though be prepared, it will most likely be overwhelming, crowded, confusing, etc. … but you should still go.
I’m sure there’s more student exhibits, but really, that’s enough for AHDM4U. Time to hit up the galleries and see the other sad side of the art world, just kidding.
There’s this gallery here, over the hill in the Dog Patch named Romer Young. They cute. This guy DERIC CARNER (OPENING RECEPTION FRIDAY 6-9PM // FREE // ROMER YOUNG GALLERY // MORE) is having his fourth solo exhibit with them. You should go. There’ll be free beer, duh
Deric Carner // Wild Animals I Have Known // mounted c-print, 18″ x 22″, 2014 // Courtesy Romer Young Gallery
Check out n/a over in Oakland for the CLOSING RECEPTION FOR JAIMIE HEALY’S NIGHT WINDOW (SATURDAY // 8-11PM // FREE // N/A // MORE). This is my fave gallery in the Bay right now, as they keep their programing not just jampacked with art objects, but also lectures, talks, screenings, performances, etc. … They know what’s up. The evening will feature performance and readings by Marc Manning, Sadie Harmon, Jaimie Healy and more.
Jaimie Healy // Night Window // installation shot, 2014 // Courtesy n/a
I’m typically all down for dancing, but like I’ve already iterated earlier … HOT. HEAT. SWEAT. Not cute on me. But y’all give it a shot.
Qumbia Qrew will be hosting Q2 (FRIDAY // 10PM-2AM // LA ESTRELLITA CAFE // MORE), a benefit for CUAV! — founded in 1979, it’s a group that works to build the power of LGTBQ communities to transform violence and oppression. Envisioning a safe, resilient world where everyone can thrive, CUAV will be at La Estrellita Cafe getting down to the jams of resident DJ AlmiuX and Guest DJ Essex
Rheal Tea // Body Party // Courtesy the artist
Also happening over in Oakland is GENDERFUCK (SATURDAY // 7PM-4AM // $5 BETWEEN 9PM-1AM, OTHERWISE FREE // THREE WALLS // MORE), a “very queer art show and dance party.” MC’d by Curran Veronica, the evening will play host to a number of visual artists (Manuel Rodrigues, Rai Yin Hsu, Xara Thustra and Tigerlilly Holyoak to name a few), performances by San Cha, Tyler Holmes, Vain Hein, Sirloin Strip and Rheal ‘Tea and DJ sets by Cunt Trap Supreme and Usher of Now. Melody Sage will be hookin’ you up with some cute ass manicures, while Roscito’s Tamalito’s gives you that grub.
Then there’s SWAGGER LIKE US (9PM-2AM // $5 // BEAUX // MORE), honey … Get as cute as possible with as little clothes as poss, without shamin’ your mama. The evening is hosted by AHDM4U’s very own Kelly Lovemonster. DJs davO and Boyfriend promise to keep the walls drippin’ with sweat, liquor and cuteness, duh. Get ready to scream “Yaaaaas, bish, yas” until your throat caves in ❤
Photo by Shot in the City Photography
And closing out your possible Saturday heat stroke is BEATPIG (SATURDAY // 9PM-2AM // $5 // POWERHOUSE // MORE). This one will be benefitting the Transgender Law Center and your girl, drag celebrity Juanita More will be there.
Aight, beautiful people. Have a good weekend, I’ma go fill the tub up with cold water and take a nap while listening to this: