Hey y’all BDH here! My goals for this weekend are to make a five month plan. After speaking to a friend about “life” I realized that I need to get shit in order. But while I’m quietly buggin’ the fuck out over my life, a.k.a. my money, you should like, totally go out and get yours.

Experimental sound is very dear to me. I love me some Beyonce and Rihanna, but I also love sitting in a room and having my eardrums torn from my head by some kid mashing buttons and going cray cray on a bootleg electronic device. I recently learned of the NEW MUSIC SERIES (8PM // FREE // THE LUGGAGE STORE GALLERY// MORE) and haven’t yet attended an event. I’m looking forward to starting it off on Thursday with the Fathers (a Headboggle/Sun Poisoning collab), Horseflesh and Styrofoam Sanchez.
Gender, identity, sexuality, politics, race and oppression. These are all topics I enjoy talking about, I seriously do. I find that these moments of debate, be they solo or with peers, can be true opportunities for growth. That being said, most people aren´t with me on the enjoyment part and think that these conversation topics tend to be complete buzzkills. I hope these people make it to GENDER ASSIMILATION: A REBUTTAL (7:30PM // $10-20 // STAGE WERX // MORE) because this play is going to be buzzkill-free. Sponsored by the Asian Pacific Islander Cultural Center, the show is focused on racism, beauty privilege, transphobia, horizontal oppression and so much more. Jaq is currently studying drama therapy and has an interest in clown heritage, so I’d be prepared for this to be heavy but jovial production.

Artist Ryan Crowder wants to integrate a different kind of aesthetic into the BDSM look, insisting that there is plenty of room for cute in the traditionally black, chrome, and stern fetish scene. AHDM4U is going to do some fashion forecasting and say that his new knit fetishwear line Yarness is THE next craze of SF. C´mon, bondage gear used as accessory is already an everyday item for many. Go ahead and join him for cupcakes and crafty harness wear at the YARNESS LAUNCH PARTY (8PM // REBEL // MORE).


Who´s heard of ABC’s soon-to-air television series Fresh Off The Boat? Performance series Queer Rebels is here to catch you up, as well as on the myth of the “model minority” and the profile terrorist. SPIRIT: QUEER ASIAN, ARAB & PACIFIC ISLANDER ARTIVISM (FRIDAY AND SATURDAY // PRICES VARY // AFRICAN AMERICAN ART & CULTURE COMPLEX // MORE) promises to be a rad weekend of work by Asian, Arab and Pacific Islander artists. These stories spring to life in the form of video and performance and will fight against our country´s often misguided views, as well as the art community´s inability to give POC groups proper and equal coverage.
In the past year, I’ve grown very bored with art objects. Well, actually I’ve grown exhausted with finding myself standing in front of an object and being given no real experience or dialogue. Because of this I’ve developed a dedicated attraction to performance, be it dance, theater or music. Don’t get me wrong, each medium communicates differently, and some more readily than others. If you feel the same way, I´d like to introduce you to SALTA (8PM // DONATIONS SUGGESTED // STARLINE SOCIAL CLUB // MORE). Functioning as a performance series and a collective, Salta always offers many moments in which one can experience and contemplate performance. I not going to lie, I’m excited for this evening, but I hope with so many kinds of performance set to go off at once it doesn’t turn out like a gangbang porn in which you end up missing out on the action on the other side of the room because of faulty editing.
But let me explain my frustration with art objects or the presentation/exhibiting of them a little better. I’ve found that there are many talented artists in the Bay and there could be much dialogue to be had around their work, but frankly their concepts just aren’t fully developed. This is one of the many reasons I am attracted to Lyle. Not only is she approaching concepts of queerness in a refreshing manner, but she consistently presents dialogue with her exhibits, so check out her show this weekend at CYBELE LYLW: THE MOON IS SLOWLY RISING (7PM // FREE // ET AL GALLERY // MORE). Utilizing photography, sculpture, installation and film to engage space, time and architecture as tools on a conversation of queerness, Lyle is developing a very unique archive of work for the queer community and the art world in general.
I live life for artists like Leif and Brenmar. I’ve already seen both these guys live, but at that time I hadn’t fully embraced the “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS” lifestyle, so I’m looking forward to gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooing the fuck in at LE1F & BRENMAR (9PM// $16-20 // MEZZANNINE // MORE). Actually, the last two times I saw these two perform, I was partying alone and was being all shy and demure and concerned about making a fool of myself. The thing about embracing the inner “YASSS” is that you have to let go of any concern over what someone might think of you. You live for yourself and you turn up for yourself. Go find a mirror and scream “YASSS” as loud as possible. Embrace the hell out of it. Hug and squeeze the “YASSS.” Seriously. It’ll like, totally amplify your turn up, and by extension, life. Be prepared to have the major sounds of these two drowned out by my guttural belting of the word. Saturn Jones will also be workin’ the stage, floor, walls and your soul. This will be a cute night for queerness, hip hop, dance and experimentation. And yes, Kelly´s Swagger Like Us DJs Boyfriend and DavO will start the evening off right.
Ok, BODY WAVES (11:30AM-1:30PM // $20 DONATION // THE LIVING ROOM PROJECT // MORE) are EVERYTHING and I highly recommend that you not only go to everyone of their performances but also to this weekend´s workshop. During the session they will focus on building basic partner acro-balances, tumbling skills, body awareness and conditioning techniques for acrobatics. Like I said, they are EVERYTHING! Go to this workshop and work on being EVERYTHING. They can teach you, boo. Body Waves kindly asks that you reserve your spot ahead of time.
Dodie is one of the few writers I know that encompasses a successful mixture of the ridiculous or absurd wittily placed next to the critical and intelligent. It’s a mixture that I personally enjoy not only in works, but artists themselves.  I once had a really interesting conversation with Bellamy, who produces mainly as a poet and experimental writer, about our shared interest in Tyler Perry productions.  It was a moment where neither of us were embarrassed or held back — we were not only intrigued by them, but we enjoyed them. She will be reading a series of poems at DODIE BELLAMY “THE TV SUTRAS”(6:30PM // FREE / STEVEN WOLF FINE ARTS // MORE) that “reproduce the American desire to lift yourself up and create meaning and virtue from the randomness around you.” She joins “Sinne Spegel,” a multi-channel video by Karla Milosevich and Anne McGuire, and I encourage you to go and embrace every aspect of interest/being and to let go of the redundant concept of “guilty pleasure”.
AHDM4U featured East Bay performance artists Daddies Plastik in our Emerge issue. These are THE people. They are queer. They are awesome. They are better than you and I. They’ll rip your soul out and wear it around town like a new Prada coat, not really tho. This weekend Daddies Plastik joins a team of avant-garde artists for LITTLE DEBBIE: V.E.X. : TERROR APART: SAN CHA & DADDIES PLASTIK: ALICE CUNT (9PM // $5 // LIFE CHANGING MINISTRY // MORE). Life Changing Ministry is the cutest Oakland musical venue that has stepped up to offer a space where experimental sound and performance can be fostered. If there’s one thing y’all check out and experience, this should be it, especially for all the people wondering what happened to the Bay Area’s weird.
Dark goth looks, full dark drag performances, dark MOMENTS people. Find it all at DARK ROOM ~ A DOLL SHOWCASE (9:30PM // THE STUD// MORE). DJ Le Perv spins new wave goth beats and drag hostess Lady Bear will be performing with her dark dolls. This party is consistent and the beats make for a good break from all the hardcore booty/pussy popping tunes I listen to.
There’s that John Waters’s quote about not fucking people who don’t read books that really should really be one of the ten commandments. Even though I’ve cut back on my literary expenses I still afford myself a treat here and there, and Issues is one of the few spots that I hop to when I want a magazine or book. The staff there works hard at keeping good stuff in stock, and on being friendly and cute as a baby. The shop is celebrating seven years at ISSUES’S LUCKY 7 YEAR ANNIVERSARY PARTY (NOON-4 PM // FREE // ISSUES // MORE). In a city where everybody and their damn grandma has a Kindle or iPad THIS is a BIG DEAL. Issues will be giving 20 percent discounts on the entire shop’s stock, is marking its rad t-shirts down to $10, selling records from SF’s Explorist International, new books from Last Gasp, tunes from DJ Irwin from KUSF’s Sleeves on Hearts and $10 manicures. Go get your nails did, appreciate Irwin’s taste in music and buy some books and magazines.
Photo by Shot in the City 
Do I even need to tell you about Kelly Lovemonster’s outdoor, queer, hip hop, cute as fuck, turn up party?  Well let me stop fakin’ because there was a time that even I needed to be told about SWAGGER LIKE US FT. MICAHTRON AND GUEST DJ ESSEX (3-8PM // $5-8// El RIO// MORE ). It’s cute! Like I say every fucking thing is “cute,” but bish, this party is CUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTE. Get with it and go in as MicahTron and guest DJ Essex stay on their game and deliver multiple lives and deaths.
Once you stumble out from going in at Swagger, go back over to Oakland and get sober at K.R.M. MOONEY: UNDERSTUDY (8PM // FREE // N/A // MORE). Mooney is a very rare presence in the Bay and their work speaks to that. Like Lyle, they are helping to introduce the Bay to a contemporary, but still political and sincere, breed of queer art. Having hosted a series of talks at n/a as a curator, Mooney is now presenting to us their own work. If you have gone to any of the “Doubt It” talks then I encourage you to step back and consider the full frame of how this individual is attempting to instigate a layered presence for the Bay’s queer community.
I hope you all are able to make it out to at least two of these events.  It doesn’t matter which one, as each represents the reality of this powerful community. Within them are many moments, people, creations and possibilities that help me not freak out about my life. Have a good weekend and thanks for reading, y’all.
About 4U Mag (264 Articles)
A lifestyle magazine by Kelly Lovemonster and Caitlin Donohue. Not a total vanity project.