AHDM4U HOROSCOPES :: JULY 23 TO AUGUST 22

Hey bbs, your girl boopie here. I’m sorry I’ve been away. I’ve been attending class at the Celestial School of Gif with Ms. Tilda Swinton herself, lolz. That last part is a joke, but on the reals several of you have started to ask me specific questions about your imminent futures. So, I thought to myself why not take a moment and answer? Oh, and the rest of you who want to hit me up with questions about the future, please feel free to email ahdm4u@gmail.com with the subject line “boop HELP!”

Today’s question comes from one of our lovely Bay Area readers.

Dear boopie,

I am queer black male and have a crush on a white DREADLOCKED, self-proclaimed bisexual. I feel a bit unsure about our union. It’s his hair. I have so many complicated feelings about it. Is it cultural appropriation? Should hair really keep us apart? You read the stars — I think? — share through your fine art of gifs boops, what should I do?

Sincerely,

Sleepless in Oakland

AHHHHH

ynhGfOp

Eeeeeee

No-no-no-gif

Hmmmmm

5055733

Real talk, I share your reservations but let’s turn to the stars or something for answers. First off, the universe is telling me that this hair situation is less

counting-crows-o

or

tumblr_mb4b37YDhM1r9ulsko1_500[1]

or this (although I am kind of feeling the gold teeth)

miley

Actually, never mind.

Now, the ideal white person with dreads would be this cloned science fiction sexpot

tumblr_inline_n12mhnn0rr1qic8k5

(And yes I know technically this is just an ethnically ambiguous actor with flat twist and a dread weave. We can unpack that another time.)

But my sources are telling me that your man’s situation is somewhere in between, like this

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Which let’s be real, is unfortunate. I’m not going to lie to you, this is dire.

9m9pH

Come to mama.

deep_back_rub_from_a_cat-75582

There’s a lot about light going on for you right now.

flashlight1

Letting your light shine, illuminating the way for others. Good energy stuff. There’s really no segue for this … but I think you should go for it.

shocked-beyonce

I know.

Im-Shocked-gif

I know.

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I know.

But you definitely cannot ask, tell or even suggest that he should cut his hair. If you can spend all this time together, don’t think you’re too good for your boy because he puts some wax and beads in his hair. Also if you have such a problem with his cultural appropriation (yeah that’s still on the table) why y’all rolling together?

tumblr_mxeivlZq7w1qjs2g2o1_500

Does that make you better? Also don’t be on some

4cZmX

shit. Anyway just know I’m here for you.

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Over and out.

pirates-of-car

Here’s what’s up for the rest:

LEO

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Because you deserve it. (That direct eye contact made me shiver.)

VIRGO

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+

david-bowie-tilda-swinton-stars-video

LIBRA

tumblr_mnkcb6UJM61re72ijo1_500

SCORPIO

tumblr_lpzad2FHy11qanw6wo5_400

SAG

what-s-it-gonna-be-o

CAPRICORN

tumblr_mbie8thVBg1r7l9h2o1_250

AQUARIUS

tumblr_ma2wtbIW621qgcra2o1_500

PISCES

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ARIES

i8NNbtJQWkzgM

 

TAURUS

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+

anigif_enhanced-buzz-1440-1403188209-5

GEMINI

tumblr_m70iblRJWa1raa31eo1_500

CANCER

T4SfUg4

 

 

About 4U Mag (264 Articles)
A lifestyle magazine by Kelly Lovemonster and Caitlin Donohue. Not a total vanity project.

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