Hey bbs, your girl boopie here. I’m sorry I’ve been away. I’ve been attending class at the Celestial School of Gif with Ms. Tilda Swinton herself, lolz. That last part is a joke, but on the reals several of you have started to ask me specific questions about your imminent futures. So, I thought to myself why not take a moment and answer? Oh, and the rest of you who want to hit me up with questions about the future, please feel free to email email@example.com with the subject line “boop HELP!”
Today’s question comes from one of our lovely Bay Area readers.
I am queer black male and have a crush on a white DREADLOCKED, self-proclaimed bisexual. I feel a bit unsure about our union. It’s his hair. I have so many complicated feelings about it. Is it cultural appropriation? Should hair really keep us apart? You read the stars — I think? — share through your fine art of gifs boops, what should I do?
Sleepless in Oakland
Real talk, I share your reservations but let’s turn to the stars or something for answers. First off, the universe is telling me that this hair situation is less
or this (although I am kind of feeling the gold teeth)
Actually, never mind.
Now, the ideal white person with dreads would be this cloned science fiction sexpot
(And yes I know technically this is just an ethnically ambiguous actor with flat twist and a dread weave. We can unpack that another time.)
But my sources are telling me that your man’s situation is somewhere in between, like this
Which let’s be real, is unfortunate. I’m not going to lie to you, this is dire.
Come to mama.
There’s a lot about light going on for you right now.
Letting your light shine, illuminating the way for others. Good energy stuff. There’s really no segue for this … but I think you should go for it.
But you definitely cannot ask, tell or even suggest that he should cut his hair. If you can spend all this time together, don’t think you’re too good for your boy because he puts some wax and beads in his hair. Also if you have such a problem with his cultural appropriation (yeah that’s still on the table) why y’all rolling together?
Does that make you better? Also don’t be on some
shit. Anyway just know I’m here for you.
Over and out.
Here’s what’s up for the rest:
Because you deserve it. (That direct eye contact made me shiver.)