By Kelly Lovemonster
At the end of every September, San Francisco becomes home to the internationally known, notoriously slutty, BDSM-filled weekend known as Folsom Street Fair. Haven’t been? Let this photo stand as a representation of some of the things that can happen during the Fair.
Yeah, so lots of butt, various objects in said butt i.e. puppy tails, good old fashioned buttplugs, perhaps a casual fist. I’ve personally witnessed many a window orgy, lots of public oral sex and once I saw a dog riding a skateboard (sorry for lack of link). The lovely folks of Folsom Street Fair also host a modestly attended, equally slutty, BDSM-filled event during the last weekend in July, UP YOUR ALLEY (SUNDAY // 11AM-6PM // DONATIONS SUGGESTED // DORE ALLEY BETWEEN HOWARD AND FOLSOM // MORE).
Some may wonder, what’s the appeal? LOLZ, does anyone actually wonder that? I mean, obvs all the butt you can feast your eyes on, being unabashedly slutty with all of your sisters (that’s gay for all your gay friends) and obvs an opportunity to check out all the Bay Area trade! So stop washing your armpits, put on your fave jockstrap and come out to the street fair.
The Castro sex club Eros is hosting B’EROS (7PM- 3AM // $24 // EROS // MORE) a super sexy affair with all the bear porn one can watch. The facilities host a variety of amenities including a dry sauna, steam sauna, “relaxation” area and masseuse. I recommend getting there before 2 a.m. ’cause the doors close, but the trade will be hella open inside.
SF party promoter Walter Gomez is throwing his annual STEAM GOES UP YOUR ALLEY (9PM-2AM // $10 // POWERHOUSE // MORE). This slutty SoMa affair features a $100 cash wet towel contest, glistening go-go boys in the “power shower” and Patron and Red Bull drink specials all night long. I recommend getting here early, having all the drinks, meeting a new boo and dashing over to Eros before 2 a.m. Just saying.
I know the above image features the infamous SF Karl the Fog over Marshall Beach, but for real though, it’s Up Your Alley weekend and we’re in a heatwave. I recommend heading over to Marshall’s for some nude beach moments and no tanline Dore looks. This beach will be full of local trade so, if you’re in from out of town trying to meet someone from the Bay Area here’s your perfect opportunity to see their dick before you even know their name.
I’m not going to lie, the Official Up Your Alley party BAY OF PIGS (10PM-4AM // $60 // FACTORY // MORE) is a giant meat locker circuit party. No shade — I’ll probs even make a quick appearance. The evening is sure to be filled with lots of disco and house music, men in leather harnesses and X-rated sexy times. But, if you’re looking for of a local turnup, I would recommend heading into the SoMa district for a cute pub crawl through Truck, the SF Eagle, Lone Star Saloon, Hole in the Wall and the Powerhouse. Each of these bars will be hosting their own events, have their own unique SF charm, will get very SLUTTY and will have much cheaper drinks than Bay of Pigs. Again, no shade.
And obvs, the weekend crescendos at the day festival Up Your Alley. I have no idea what I’m going to wear, but I do know I’ll be flagging yellow. See you bbs there.